Praise be to Based God this morning for bringing us a real story about a real rapper smoking actually large quantities of weed. I was getting so sick of Justin Bieber’s wanna-be badass Playskool poser antics and genuinely needed a palate cleanser to get the bad taste out of my mouth (for the past three days its tasted like Pedialyte, Xanax, and soggy Arrowroot cookies).
As a for-real fan of Soul Plane (I made peace with my terrible taste a long time ago) I’ll always love a good Snoop Dogg story. According to TMZ (via the Huffington Post), Snoop Dogg spent Thursday night in a hotel room in Australia like any of us would: by ripping bong hits, ordering $19 cheesecake, and debating with himself whether or not to get up at 6am to beat the rush at the pool (but mostly bong hits). However, by the next morning, the smoke still hadn’t cleared and became thick enough to set off the fire alarm. Firefighters rushed up to his room and prepared for some serious Kurt Russell in Backdraft action, but when they opened the door, they discovered nothing more than a smokey room and a buff-as-hell Snoop Dogg in his sweatpants (seriously, when did Snoop get those muscles?).
The firefighters wouldn’t confirm whether or not the smoke was from weed, but Snoop Dogg looks like a mythical Chinese dragon who grows good shit in his lungs and puffs out thick clouds of dank when he opens his mouth, so it’s a big d-o-double-duh that it probably was weed. Or maybe they have some weird shit they smoke in Australia instead of weed. I know that Australia is a fucked-up Island of Mystery where everything is upside down, hamburgers eat people, and their spiders are the size of small dogs, so maybe they have something stronger and crazier than weed. Wallaby hair? They’re smoking wallaby hair down under, aren’t they?
(Pic via Instagram)