Since Krapping Up the Kartrashian’sratings are starting to fall and the Lindsay Lohan-ing of Justin Bieber is the MSNBC BREAKING NEWS STORY of the moment, Pimp Mama Kris raised her cane and commanded her prized heifer to work it, whore, sell it, whore. Kim’s been selling it on the talk show ho stroll and she took her “terra cotta mask covered in corn starch” face to Jimmy Kimmel’s corner where she whored out her krappy show, her krappy family and her newest diarrhea-inducing fake wedding.
The shrunken-headed Bratz doll that was molded out of dildo rubber told Jimmy that she will become Kim Noel Kardashian Thomas Humphries West this summer in Paris when she and Kanye join hands and take a dump on the pile of dead horse dust that is the sanctity of marriage. They aren’t getting married at Versailles (or as Nomi Malone would pronounce it: Ver-say-ells) because his massive, throbbing ego rubbing against her massive, throbbing ass would cause the walls to come crumbling down and Versailles doesn’t want to go out like that.
Before Kim sucked the life out of Jimmy’s studio, she Instagrammed a picture of the fugly shit she put on her body and said that it’s a Dior dress cut in two. If you run the line “I cut my Dior dress in two” through the truth machine, out will come, “My body split that shit in two.” It’s ugly now and it was probably ugly before. It looks like resort wear by Juicy Couture. And Kim’s face. If she was an actual Real Doll, the dude who ordered her would return her to the factory she came from for being way too creepy and so not passable.
Pics: Pacific Coast News