The Murder, She Wrote Reboot With Octavia Spencer Isn’t Going To Happen

Bad news for anybody who lives near Angela Lansbury. You’re going to have to protect yourself under a full body umbrella when you leave your house, because Angela Lansbury is not going to stop squirting out a geyser of victory over the news that NBC has decided to put the Murder, She Wrote reboot back on the shelves. NBC has decided to put all their time, energy, cash and powers of butchery into rebooting Father Dowling Mysteries with Dane Cook and Whitney Cummings instead. I’m joking. I hope.

Octavia Spencer was supposed to play a Jessica Fletcher-type who works as a hospital administrator by day and solves mysteries during her off time, but that’s not going to happen anymore. Deadline says that NBC has spared Octavia Spencer from that bad idea and have decided to put to the side for now. The main hos at NBC decided to spend some time on the reboot and spin it into a new concept. Yeah, that’s their story, but you know they decided to shred it into peacock food after they all left a restaurant together one night. As they were waiting for their cars, ice cold fear crawled up their spines and they suddenly felt the uneasy anxiety a brat feels when they make the mistake of crossing their abuelita. They all looked down the street and there behind the wheel of her parked Kia Soul was Angela Lansbury waving a switch at them. Nothing will make you change your life choices like a mad old grandma waving a switch at you from behind the wheel of her Kia Soul.

Angela made it crystal cunt clear that she’s spitting on the reboot and the whole idea made her want to cut a whore with her knitting needle. NBC says they’re going to try the reboot again, but they won’t.  They learned a lesson. Never fuck with Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury: Still the boss bitch of Hollywood.

(GIF via WFMU)