Night Crumbs

Bradley Cooper brought Sookie Stackhouse Suki Waterhouse to the SAG Awards and he really should’ve pruned his beard as perfectly as he pruned the beard on his face, because that child’s hair “half-assed prom curls deflating in humidity” hair is a true tragedy – Lainey Gossip 

If you want to be 100% right about something at least once a day, then wake up every morning and tell yourself, “I’m going to see brand new pictures of RiRi in a bikini” – Drunken Stepfather

Let me correct the statement above: Tell yourself, “I’m going to see at least TWO brand new sets of pictures of RiRi in a bikini” – The Superficial

Ariana Grande wants everyone to know that there’s enough Yaki hair on her head to keep the head of every Knowles covered for years – Celebitchy

As I looked at these delicate, demure flowers from the AVN Awards, I asked myself, “I wonder which one of these dresses June Squibb is going to wear to the Oscars?” – Hollywood Tuna

ABC’s publicists keep writing more “I’m sowwy” statements for The Bachelor – Towleroad

The Palace of the Versailles might be the only place in France that can fit Kanye West’s ego and Kim Kartrashian’s ass at the same time so this makes sense – Reality Tea

Only a true gourmet with a refined palate prefers his Sizzurp with pineapple Fanta instead of Sprite – IDLYITW

I really hope that Jennifer Aniston didn’t take a wrecking ball to that 1990s Ikea and LEGO kitchen – The Berry

FAKE! I refuse to believe that The Lesbeaver spells “you’re” right – Jezebel

Minka Kelly’s dog is all the way over it and doing a perfect impersonation of me after five minutes on the elliptical – Popoholic

And the pregnant nun was Salvadoran. El Salvador is representing RIGHT as always! – OMG Blog

You know, I would totally pay to see an actual bowl of tapioca pudding play Dan Akroyd – Pajiba

Ke$ha’s mother is still talking – ICYDK

Kelly Clarkson is having a girl – HuffPo

Ariana Grande, you’ve been challenged – Tosh.0

Jerry Ferrara’s hairy nipples, because why not – Just Jared

Let A Ho Be A Ho: Robin Thicke touches lips with a barely legal-looking girl with Scary Spice circa 1995 hair – Popsugar

(Pic via Getty)