Jennifer Lawrence Didn’t Win The Critics’ Choice Award Last Night

January 17, 2014 / Posted by:

In “What else is new?” news, I’m getting a late start today. So while I pour yesterday’s coffee grounds and a bottle of Redline into my right ear hole, here’s Lupita Nyong’o accepting the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Supporting Actress after beating Julia Roberts, June Squibb, ScarJo, The Mighty O and Hollywood’s current reigning Queen of ~Rill~ Jennifer Lawrence. Lupita beating Jennifer Lawrence at the Critics’ Choice Awards gives me hope. Maybe, just maybe, she’ll achieve the impossible by beating Hollywood’s golden child at the Oscars. But then I think about it for a second and ask myself, “Why in the hell do you give one fuck?

But really, screw the Oscars. It’s obviously all about the Critics’ Choice Awards (not really). Any awards show that airs on The CW, gets its graphics from Clip Art and takes place in a high school gym somewhere in the San Fernando Valley is my kind of awards show.

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