Patti Stanger Thinks Bisexual Men Are About As Real As Santa And Leprechauns

January 11, 2014 / Posted by:

If the hideous butthole lipgloss-and-pleather vest combo on this drowsy-looking linebacker didn’t bring up your breakfast, then what recently came out of her butthole mouth will (get your paper towels ready).

Patti Stanger, a woman who read a couple dog-eared issues of Cosmo in her dentist’s office back in the early 90s and then declared herself a relationship expert, has said some – SURPRISE – offensive stuff about the LGTB community again. The Huffington Post is reporting that the woman who thinks all gay men are dick-hungry sluts (Note from Michael K: We’re not?!) is back again to say incorrect shit about bisexual dudes:

The Bravo star recently stopped by Bethenny Frankel’s show, “Bethenny,” and answered some questions she pulled from a fishbowl backstage. One of the questions she pulled asked, “Would you ever marry a bisexual man?”

“Uh, never!” Stanger responded. “Never. Never. And if they’re bisexual, they’re gay!”

This is not the first time Stanger has questioned bisexuals.

“Do you want to marry a bisexual?” she asked a “Millionaire Matchmaker” client during Season 2 of her reality series. “Bisexual women are not the women you want to be the mother of your children.”

Get the Guinness Book of World Records on the phone: bisexual men everywhere just exhaled the world’s largest collective sigh of relief.

We’ve got to stop asking Patti Stanger relationship questions, because everything she says is a hot, greasy pile of what the fucking fuck. For instance: during a particularly low and shameful part of my life, I watched Millionaire Matchmaker and took her dating advice. One such tip was not kissing on the first date because, jesus, who fucking knows with this dumb-dumb. So at the end of every date I went on, I would just shake the guy’s hand. After my friends found out I was closing every date like a fucking serial killer, they cut my cable to make sure I’d stop watching Millionaire Matchmaker and start acting like a normal person.

(Pic via Splash)

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