Today In Random: Courtney Love Might Be Humping On Aaron Sorkin

January 10, 2014 / Posted by:

A few months ago, Courtney Love was stumbling through the lobby of Chateau Marmont in L.A. when she stumbled into a dude who looks like a generic Robert Redford blow-up doll that’s been overfilled with weighty farts, and after she looked at him for a second, she said, “I don’t think we’ve fucked before. I’ve got coke, slow-drying lube and a whole of time, man.” And a romance was born.

Page Six says that for the past few months, supposedly sober Aaron Sorkin and sometimes-not-really-sober Courtney Love have been boning the skin off of each other’s genitals. Courtney’s living at Chateau Marmont right now and the ghost of John Belushi has been dry heaving at her riding Aaron Sorkin’s face. The source says that Courtney thinks they’re this generation’s Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe. If you really think Courtney Love has dried out, read that Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe line again, because you have to be fucked up on the wrong stuff to say that for real.

“He is intrigued by Courtney’s wit, while she says Aaron is a great influence on her. Some people might think they are an odd couple, but she likens them to Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller.”

Aaron’s spokeswhore tells Page Six that he’s not dating Courtney Love, but what else are you supposed to say when a ho asks you if you’re dating Courtney Love? I, for one, hope this is true, because I love the idea of these two hot-blooded messes taking over Hollywood. I hope Aaron Sorkin adds grease to the tracks that the derailing train The Newsroom is riding on by putting Courtney Love on that shit. I hope he reboots The West Wing and casts Courtney as the President. I hope he remakes Moneyball, puts Courtney Love in the lead and calls it Speedball.

And last month, Courtney tweeted this:

I’m taking that to mean that she really, really gets off on toe fucking Aaron Sorkin in the b-hole. Those nasty, sucio, messy kids.

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