Speaking Of Awkward Magazine Covers….

January 8, 2014 / Posted by: Michael K

So from the awkward ass Gone Girl cover of Entertainment Weekly to this awkward cover of Ebony.

Everybody already knew this, but now this cover makes it official. The part of Mimi’s brain that operates reason is completely backwards. Mimi was frolicking around all horny-like in a bikini in Aspen while there was snow on the ground and iciness in the air and here she is in a pool, a place where most hos wear a bikini, and she’s wearing a goddamn gown. Bitch, you got mixed up!

I guess Mimi and Nick Cannon are supposed to look like they were having so much fun and they got so drunk that they fell into the pool, but only the bottom part of their bodies are wet. Are they getting baptized? Why are they wearing red? Is this an Illuminati baptism? Where’s Beyonce? And Nick looks like he’s holding in a major fart while trying not to back away from Mimi as he feels something warm covering his crotch. Yeah, she totally pissed on him.

And “black love” reminds me of Whitney and BOBBAAAAY B saying that their love is black love, because he pops her doody bubbles. So Ebony is letting us know that Nick pops Mimi’s doody bubbles and I bet they smell like liquid bubbles, Lisa Frank-scented pencils, hummingbird juice and Starlite’s burps.

Tags: Aaaaawkward, Mariah Carey, MESS, Nick Cannon

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