Keri Russell And Matthew Rhys Might Be A Thing

Earlier this month, Keri Russell’s spokeswhore told everyone that she and her husband of 7 years Shane Deary took a machete to their marriage the same way she dramatically CHANGED THE WORLD when she took a machete to her long locks during Felicity a billion years ago. Around the same time Keri announced that her marriage was done, two thieving thieves broke into her Brooklyn townhouse and stole some shit. Since I watch a lot of 48 Hours and my brain is programmed to think that everything is ESCANDALOSO, I figured Shane Deary hired two dudes to break into Keri’s townhouse and fuck her or some papers or something. Well, now Page Six says that Keri might be doing her The Americans co-star Matthew Rhys. THE PLOT THICKENS!

Several sources tell Page Six that Keri and Matthew Rhys are bumping nipples. On The Americans, Keri and Matthew play Soviet KGB agents who pretend to be the perfect suburban American husband and wife to get government secrets! Keri and Matthew apparently ate a meal together at ABC Kitchen in NYC and a witness type says that they were acting like they’re together together.

“Seeing the way they are together I could have sworn they were a couple. They were so touchy-feely, drinking and laughing.”

Keri and Matthew are currently filming the second season of The Americans in NYC.

Doesn’t Keri have a sort of history of fucking on her co-stars after the cameras turn off? So when she got cast in a show with Matthew Rhys, her husband probably started packing up his shit. I have so many questions! Is Keri boning on her co-star the reason why her marriage threw itself in a shallow ditch? If Keri and Matthew stop boning, what does this mean for The Americans, because seeing Margo Martindale as a KGB boss gives me life! Do you think while Keri’s riding Matthew, she stops and thinks to herself, “Shit, I used to fuck Scott Speedman!”

Keri is about as interesting as a piece of Styrofoam covered in tap water, but fucking on her co-star kind of makes her a little interesting. I’m sort of proud of her! Keep on bringing those ~scandals~, Keri!