The Mighty O Didn’t Get A Golden Globe Nomination
Olivia Wilde, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Saldana announced the Golden Globe nominations at the hour of the ungodly this morning and when the category of Best Supporting Actress In A Motion Picture (aka OPRAH’S CATEGORY!) came up, they looked at Jennifer Lawrence and said, “You get a nomination,” they looked at Lupita Nyong’o and said, “And you get a nomination,” they looked at Oprah…and they kept moving. No nomination for Oprah! This is an unholy act against God. The Illuminati must be behind this…
Just like it’s a given that I’ll probably start my morning by silently weeping while sit down peeing, it was a given that The Mighty O would get a Best Supporting Actress nomination for The Butler and some hos thought that there was a kind of sort of chance that she’d beat Jennifer Lawrence and Lupita Nyong’o. But now that’s not going to happen. The organizers of that dark-sided event better buy more cases of champagne, because Oprah will not be there to turn all the goblets of tap water into flutes of Cristal. But I bet Gayle King’s loins are quivering something extra today, because she loves it when her boo gets the rage.
As for the other nominations, Fruitvale Station got shit, American Hustle is considered a comedy (which sort of makes sense since this is a work of comedic genius) and Angela Bassett was ROBBED! The GG voters obviously didn’t see Angela Bassett’s “fat ass cracker bitch” rant on AHS: Coven or she would’ve been the only name in that category. But Hayden Panatroll got nominated for Nashville (cut to me clapping and cheering all by myself since I might be the only ho that proudly watches that shit), Tatiana Maslany got nominated and more importantly, the Golden Globes recognized this thing of pure, natural, potent beauty:
I hope Robe Lowe shows up IN character. All of the nominations are after the cut. Warning: Get your punching fist ready, because Taylor Swift got a nomination in the Best Song category.
Best TV Series Comedy
The Big Bang Theory
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Girls
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation
Best TV Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for TV
American Horror Story: Coven
Behind the Candelabra
Dancing on the Edge
Top of the Lake
White Queen
Best Actor, TV Series Comedy
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Michael J. Fox, The Michael J. Fox Show
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Best Actress, TV Series Comedy
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Lena Dunham, Girls
Julia Louis Dreyfus, Veep
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Best Actor, TV Series Drama
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Michael Sheen, Masters of Sex
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
James Spader, The Blacklist
Best Actress, TV Series Drama
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Best TV Series Drama
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife
Masters of Sex
House of Cards
Best Actress in a TV Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for TV
Helena Bonham Carter, Burton and Taylor
Rebecca Ferguson, White Queen
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake
Best Actor in a TV Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for TV
Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dancing on the Edge
Idris Elba, Luther
Al Pacino, Phil Spector
Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture
Jacqueline Bisset, Dancing on the Edge
Janet McTeer, White Queen
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Monica Potter, Parenthood
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Rob Lowe, Behind the Candelabra
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Corey Stoll, House of Cards
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Best Foreign Language Film
Blue Is The Warmest Color (France)
The Great Beauty (Italy)
The Hunt (Denmark)
The Past (Iran)
The Wind Rises (Japan)
Best Motion Picture Screenplay
Spike Jonze, Her
Bob Nelson, Nebraska
Jeff Pope and Steve Coogan, Philomena
John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
David O. Russell and Eric Singer, American Hustle
Best Animated Feature Film
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Frozen
Best Original Song in a Motion Picture
“Let It Go,” Frozen
“Atlas,” The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
“Please Mr. Kennedy,” Inside Llewyn Davis
“Ordinary Love,” Mandela
“Sweeter Than Fiction,” One Chance
Best Original Score in a Motion Picture
Alexander Ebert, All Is Lost
John Williams, The Book Thief
Steven Price, Gravity
Alex Heffes, Mandela: A Long Walk To Freedom
Hans Zimmer, 12 Years A Slave
Best Director
Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips
Steve Mcqueen, 12 Years A Slave
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
David O. Russell, American Hustle
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Daniel Bruhl, Rush
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender , 12 Years A Slave
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years A Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska
Best Actor, Comedy/Musical
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, Wolf of Wall Street
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix, Her
Best Actress, Comedy/Musical
Amy Adams, American Hustle
Julie Delpy, Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Enough Said
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
Best Actor, Drama
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years A Slave
Idris Elba, Mandela
Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Robert Redford, All Is Lost
Best Actress, Drama
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet, Labor Day
Best Motion Picture, Drama
12 Years a Slave
Gravity
Philomena
Rush
Captain Phillips
Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Nebraska
Wolf of Wall Street
American Hustle