Blythe Danner Says That Anti-GOOPers Are Just Jealous And Bored

November 27, 2013 / Posted by:

Goopy Paltrow came out of Blythe Danner, so what’s a Blythe Danner to do? She can either defend her daughter against the peasant haters until the end or she can ensure that her daughter will never talk to her again by stocking her cupboards with canned cheese. Blythe is choosing to defend Goopy, because say what you want about her pretentious ass, she makes a delicious white truffle, dolphin meat and gold dough pizza. So at the opening of the Off-Broadway play The Commons of Pensacola, Mama GOOP looked down and spit on all the jealous, bored bitches who constantly use their keyboards as a bow to shoot out cunty words about her perfect, amazing daughter. Blythe said this when Naughty But Nice Rob asked for her thoughts on her daughter’s haters:

“I admire her so much. It (the criticism) doesn’t faze her. I think it probably did initially. She said, ‘Mom, I’m going to get this all my life. This is how they see me.’ I feel she’s just extraordinarily accomplished in every area and people don’t like that, some people don’t like that, people who are bored and sit on their asses all day and just tap away. I mean I don’t read any of it, I just find it so disgusting. There is a coarsening of our culture today that is just so tragic.”

Blythe made two good points. Yes, I’m jealous of Goopy, because I too wish that diarrhea was always flowing out of my mouth since it can’t exit through my ass due to the giant stick plugged up in there. (I set myself up for that one, I know.) And Blythe is also right about the coarsening of our world. I mean, Goopy will tell you that the other day she saw a jar of Prego at Bristol Farms. Can you believe that? Prego isn’t even made in Italy! I think it’s made in Camden, New Jersey! Tragic! Disgusting! What is happening to our culture?

And I resemble resent Blythe’s statement. I’ll have her know that yes, I’m bored and yes, I’m tapping out words of hate about Goopy, but I’m doing it while lying down, not sitting down. Get it right, Blythe!

Here’s Blythe with SJP (her co-star in that play) and Amanda Peet (the writer of that play) at the opening of The Commons of Pensacola the other night.


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