Afternoon Crumbs

November 25, 2013 / Posted by:

The skinny flower formerly known as Snookitina showed up to the American Music Awards without the 80 pounds of lead-based paint she usually wears on her face and as she posed for the photographers, she looked off into the distance and thought to herself, “…so this is what it feels like when the wind touches your skin.” Or maybe she thought to herself, “Note to self: not being able to life my head upright is another side-effect of snorting all that coke to get skinny really fast.”  – Celebitchy

Macaulay Culkin, who is starting to look like Jennifer Aniston with a beard, is a true romantic for giving his newest piece a rose in an exquisite vase – Lainey Gossip

While Teresa “Gorilla Head” Giudice was hanging out with Victoria Gotti, she should’ve gotten tips on how to be a better conwoman – Reality Tea

That first one obviously came from Walter White Elementary – The Berry

Tater Head and the Dollar Tree Uncle Terry join forces for what I’m guessing is a really low-budget remake of Wrecking BallDrunken Stepfather

Here’s the new trailer for the gay Girls, and hello there, almost-40-fox – Towleroad

Hayden Pannacotta is a genius for getting a built-in cum cup installed in her cleavage for easy post-titty-fuck clean-up – The Superficial

KendallKylieWhatever Jenner’s posture is shitty and I’m surprised Pimp Mama Kris is not off camera screaming, “Stand up straight like you’ve got a line of johns saving their cash in front of you. Sell it, bitch, sell it, or the curb will be your new home tonight!” – Hollywood Tuna

Justin Timberlake was a dumb douche at the AMAs – Gawker

Naya Rivers wins the award for the worst impersonation of JLo circa 2004 – Popoholic

I really hope they have Ultimate Gay Fighter at Dave & Busters – OMG Blog

Jennifer Lawrence yells at the paps and I’m guessing she did it to mask the sound of her shitting her own pants – IDLYITW

Clint Eastwood’s daughter and Jonah Hill’s Rob Ford-looking brother pulled a Brit Brit – ICYDK

Malin Akerman finally realized that she can’t be married to a grown dude whose chin landing strip matches the one she’s got on her crotch – Popsugar

RIP Brian GriffinJezebel

And Louis Vuitton’s sales will touch the highest part of the universe in 3..2… – Just Jared

The Beastie Boys are coming for GoldieBlox – Pajiba

Damn, Latarian Milton has moves – Videogum

Nicole Richie looks like a 50-something Italian socialite who hasn’t eaten a solid meal since the 60s – I’m Not Obsessed

When Weird Al gets his hair flat ironed he looks like a late-in-life lesbian who operates the largest cat hostel in Santa Fe and teaches vagina yoga on the weekends – SOW

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