This Is The Time First Time I’ve Ever Felt Sorry For A Fake Horse

November 24, 2013 / Posted by:

That headline is not exactly made of one hundred percent truthiness. I do sometimes feel sorry for the fake horse that is LeAnn Rimes, but that’s something for me to bring up with my therapist later in the week.

Lady CaCa is the new face of VER-SAYCE, and part of being the face of VER-SAYCE is whoring the brand out every chance she gets, so at tonight’s American Music Awards she showed up looking like a Muppet who covered itself in wax and did itself up like Donatella Versace. What I’m trying to say is that CaCa actually looks hot. But you know somebody should really call PETP (People for the Ethical Treatment of People), because I feel for those poor fucks who had to put on some busted Equus shit and carry Lady CaCa. I pray for them while thinking of them inhaling her farts. Tomorrow is Monday, so I know you’ll be in the fetal position under your cubicle, praying for Friday (or Wednesday, if you’re a Thanksgiving-celebrating American) to come. But think about this, it could always be worse. You could be wearing a white Spandex bodysuit and carrying Lady CaCa’s ridiculous ass for minimum wage. Think about that.

Pics: Splash

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