Kim Kardashian Is A Charitable Saint Who Is Auctioning Off Her Old Clothes To Benefit Typhoon Victims (And Herself, Mostly Herself)

That headline makes more sense if you read it as “charitable taint.”

Last night, Kim Kartrashian acted like the giving whore she is by making one of her minions queef on her blog about how she’s auctioning off a bunch of her clothes on eBay to benefit the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines. This was exciting news for sick, nasty bitches who really want to own a stretched out leather skirt covered in the blood of Satan, Pimp Mama Kris’ saliva, skid marks, fake tanner shit and Kanye’s cum stains. (Note: Those cum stains didn’t come from Kanye humping on Kim. They came from Kanye putting on the leather skirt and jizzing at how hot he looked while posing in the mirror.) Kim’s minion shat this up (via The Gloss):

Hi guys, this is a very special auction because a portion of the proceeds of my eBay auction are going to International Medical Corps, which is a nonprofit organization that provides critical health services on remote islands where families are struggling to access medical care and basic resources like food, clean drinking water and vital medications. The proceeds will go directly to the communities they’re serving in the Philippines and will help typhoon survivors get access to medical care and ultimately save lives. My prayers and thoughts are with those affected by the typhoon. Check out my eBay auction here and support those who need our help in the Philippines. Xo

Selling all her old rags and donating all the proceeds to International Medical Corps is a nice and kind-hearted thing to do, which is why she’s not donating all proceeds to charity. Bitch is only donating 10%. At the bottom of every auction is this little note:

I don’t think this is the first time that Kim and Pimp Mama Kris have pulled the “Let’s use a catastrophe to fill our greedy, gaping assholes with even more MONAY and get a tax write-off at the same time!” scheme. Greedy bitches staying greedy. But you know, I shouldn’t be so hard on those used enema whores. They probably wanted to donate 0.0000000000001%, so they really are giving holes souls by donating 10%. True givers. Yes, the victims in the Philippines need clean water, food, clothes, shoes and basic human necessities, but Kim needs that 90% more. She needs it to buy fillers to keep her face looking like a dead-eyed rubber mallard duck that’s been ran over by a semi.

Here’s St. Kim and her friend Falala (or whatever the hell her name is) pushing North West in NYC.

Pics: Splash