The Difficult Brown Forced To Sit His Ass In Rehab For 90 Days

In case you haven’t been keeping up with the misadventures of The Difficult Brown, he recently checked into rehab, because he wanted to look good for the court after he might’ve violated his probation by allegedly punching a dude outside of a hotel in DC. E! News says that Chris Brown was kicked out of rehab two weeks later after he threw a rock through his mom’s car window when she came to visit him. Isn’t that how this piece of trash greets everyone? I’m sure his enabling ass mom will say that Fist Brown thought she was a little overheated in her car and so he broke the window to give her some air. He is always thinking of others.

Chris and his lawyer were in court today for a progress hearing in the RiRi beating case. The probation department was there and told the judge about how Chris Brown got kicked out of rehab for being Chris Brown. The judge ordered Chris back to inpatient rehab for 3 months. He can only leave rehab to do his community service hours and to fly to DC to answer to that misdemeanor assault charge. He will be tested for the bad shit while he’s in rehab. The L.A. District Attorney told the court that she’s going to keep up with the DC case and she doesn’t know if she’s going to ask for his probation to be revoked yet. After court, The Difficult Brown’s spokeswhore shat out this dry hand job of a statement:

“His goal is to gain focus and insight into his past and recent behavior, enabling him to continue the pursuit of his life and his career from a healthier vantage point.”

Baby douche steps, Fist Brown, baby douche steps. His first goal should be to not fucking punch anyone in the face and then he should focus on that other shit. But the good news is that humanity is safe from Chris Brown’s fist for at least 3 months. The bad news for everybody in rehab with him is that they have to walk around with a helmet on and tape pillow cases around his fists when he’s asleep.

And can’t we just send Chris Brown, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, George Zimmerman, Josh Brolin and Mel Gibson to a deserted island and let them all rage on each other? We can call it The Anger Games.