How Very Subtle Of You, Lady Gaga
File this under: Stunt Queens Be Stuntin’ (oh, she’s stunted, alright). Lady Gaga, who’s in New York to appear on Saturday Night Live this evening, chose to have a casual Friday night in with some pizza (Okay, so far I’m on board). But instead of ordering pizza to be delivered to her house, she decided to make a big show of her picking up pizza from – WAIT FOR IT – her father’s restaurant, Joanne Trattoria. Two pizzas? Wow, it must be really good! I mean, she can’t stop talking about the place!
It doesn’t take a graduate from the Detective La Toya: Getting to the Bottom of Things 8-week program (it’s held in the vacant office behind a poorly-ventilated acrylic nail salon) to know what’s going on here. 3 months ago that we learned Papa Gaga (government name: Joseph Germanotta) was running the restaurant from Ratatouille, but it seems his restaurant problems don’t stop at rodents. Pulling up Joanne Trattoria on Yelp gives you an all-you-can eat buffet of crappy reviews to scroll through. Here are some of my favorites:
“We complained to him about the pasta and told him that the garlic knots were stale and he told us we had to leave. If we did not, he would call the cops.” (Theresa R)
“Not a place to go GA GA over for sure!!!” (Sadie J)
“If this is what passes for Italian food than chef boyarde is the greatest of all time. I threw up outside from the nasty food” (Iron S)
“I HAVE HAD BETTER ITALIAN AT THE OLIVE GARDEN.” (Matthew L)
To be fair, Matthew L, I too have had better Italian at The Olive Garden. Hell, greet me at the door with a warm Olive Garden breadstick bouquet, and I’ll sing the praises of pasta cooked in a toilet.
Here are some more pictures of Lady Gaga moments before she struggled to push 26 slices of rat hair-covered pepperoni pizza down the in-sink garbage disposal (I’m sure there’s an NSYNC garbage disposal joke in there somewhere, but I’ll let you guys have at it).
(Pics via Splash)