The Original Jessica Fletcher Shits On NBC’s Reboot Of Murder, She Wrote

When it was announced that NBC is pulling Murder, She Wrote (aka the show of choice for oldies in the 80s to fall asleep to) out of the retirement home and young-ing it up by casting 43-year-old Octavia Spencer in the lead, I got the scareds, because I figured it’s only a matter of time before those evil whores in Hollywood remake Golden Girls and young up that flawless masterpiece by casting a bunch of young whores. (Note: I’m wrong for putting that idea into the universe and I will murder a bitch with a cheesecake if that happens.) Just like Golden Girls, the whole point of Murder, She Wrote is that Jessica Fletcher is a seasoned beauty. Angela Lansbury agrees and told AP that she thinks NBC shouldn’t call it “Murder, She Wrote,” because it’s a show that cannot be duplicated.

“I think it’s a mistake to call it ‘Murder, She Wrote,’ because ‘Murder, She Wrote’ will always be about a Cabot Cove and this wonderful little group of people who told those lovely stories and enjoyed a piece of that place, and also enjoyed Jessica Fletcher, who is a rare and very individual kind of person … So I’m sorry that they have to use the title ‘Murder, She Wrote,’ even though they have access to it and it’s their right. I saw [Octavia] in ‘The Help’ and thought she was absolutely wonderful, a lovely actress. So I wish her well, but I wish it wasn’t in ‘Murder, She Wrote.’”

NBC is probably going to call it “Murder, She Wrote On Her Facebook Status,” (since Facebook is for the olds only) so technically they’re granting Angela’s wish.

Deadline says that it’s kind of funny that Angela has sharpened her shank and pointed it at the NBC peacock’s neck, because when NBC decided to remake Murder, She Wrote, they immediately told her people that they want her to be a part of it. Octavia isn’t playing Jessica Fletcher, so they want Angela to bring her character back. NBC also hasn’t decided if they’re going to name it Murder, She Wrote or not.

If Deadline is spitting out the truth, then Octavia isn’t going to play Jessica Fletcher and NBC might not even name this shit Murder, She Wrote? So it’s basically just a show about a lady who solves murders. They just used the Murder, She Wrote name to get attention and to piss Angela Lansbury off. I don’t really blame the NBC execs for that, because you really haven’t lived a full life until you’ve gotten an e-mail from the desk of Angela Lansbury that reads, “I will cut you cunts wide open for this.“