Anne Hathaway’s Brother Might’ve Spilled The News That She’s Knocked Up

November 6, 2013 / Posted by:

Anne Hathaway (seen above with her mute husband who always looks like a robber just pressed a gun to his back and told him to act natural) might be giving her brother Tom Hathaway the dramatic silent treatment (think Helen Keller as written by Chekhov) during Thanksgiving dinner this year, because he might’ve let it slip during his stand-up act that she’s got a future EGOT winner growing in her uterus.

Star Magazine says that during his stand-up act at Tandem in Brooklyn on October 30th, Tom Hathaway let Anne’s baby news jump off of his tongue and fall into the ears of the audience. Someone in the audience told Star:

“Tom opened his act by talking about Anne’s personal life. He said, ‘My sister got married last year, and now she is about to be a new mom!’ I don’t think he realized what he had done.”

So Tom just casually broke some HIGHLY IMPORTANT news during his casual stand-up act at a casual bar in casual Bushwick in casual Brooklyn. No drama. No theatrics. No songs. No interpretive dancing. No effective mood lighting designed by a Tony-winning lighting designer. None of that!

Anne Hathaway just summoned her in-home orchestra to the 200-seat THEA-TER in her apartment. Anne laid herself on a velvet settee and as her mute husband held a spotlight tight on her face, she closed her eyes and emotionally sang out a torch song about betrayal in German. How daaaaare Tom flippantly tell everyone her baby news like it’s not a big deal. Tom didn’t tell everyone something everyone knows (examples: Anne Hathaway is the thespian of all thespians, Anne Hathaway should’ve won the Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Director Oscars for Les Miserables, because her performance WAS that movie). Tom told everyone brand new news.

Anne had been planning her baby announcement for weeks and she still had weeks of planning to do. Andrew Lloyd Webber isn’t even halfway done with the baby announcement song he’s writing for her and Valentino isn’t done making the 5 gowns she plans to wear while singing her baby announcement song.

Anne’s rep tells Gossip Cop that she’s not pregnant and Star got it wrong. Anne’s rep is obviously trying to save her baby announcement performance, but Tom already ruined it. Tom better learn the Fernand role from The Count of Monte Cristo, because he and Anne will settle this by reenacting scenes from that shit.

And here’s Anne and her husband at the Victory Fund Champagne Brunch Reception in Beverly Hills on October 20th.


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