From The How Edgy Files: Miley Cyrus’ Hump-O-Lanterns

Warning: Miley’s pumpkin porn is NSFW and after the cut.

Much like when seeing this comparison of balls, the alarming resemblance between Ke$ha and John Travolta, and Mickey Rourke’s face (Exhibit A: EVERY DAMN THING), my brain won’t do a bitch a solid and shut itself down looking at pumpkin carvings that Miley Cyrus tweeted because I can’t stop wondering if the one on the left is supposed to be Billy Ray fucking his hillbilly chipmunk sperm into Tish. If you have a few seconds to kill and a self-loathing reservoir with some untapped resources in it, you can always zoom in on the picture to fact check it for any raw doggin’ and a mullet, even though Billy Ray has been walking around lately looking like a poor man’s Mick Foley.

While her Homeowner’s Association is desperately looking in their bylaws for specific rules pertaining to fuck-o-lanterns, Miley is making Larry Flynt, Pornhub’s girl-on-girl enthusiasts and stoners everywhere proud.

It’s nice she took time to stop tongue fucking the air and terrorizing the village with Lindsay Lohan to steal a couple of Britney’s old boot moves trying on those wigs.

I forgot how normal she used to look before she morphed into the love child of Draco Malfoy and Gwen Stefani and started dressing in outfits modeled after a rejected line of baby prostitute Cabbage Patch dolls. Not even Xavier Roberts could stamp his name on her ass and find her a good home with someone to love her at the rate she’s going.

(Pics via Miley’s Twitter)