Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson Did the Dance With No Pants
Somewhere between an on-again-off-again relationship with Anjelica Houston and boning actress Veronica Cartwright, biographer Mark Eliot says Jack Nicholson found time to get his fuck on with Meryl Streep while filming the 1987 film “Ironweed“, even though the two allegedly didn’t like each other and vowed never to work together again after filming “Heartburn” in 1985. In a description filled with glorious visual imagery, the author says, “Often during shooting, his Winnebago seemed to be balanced on four overworked Slinkys.” The Daily Mail has more quotations from Eliot’s book, including ““whatever is going on inside that Winnebago it’s starting to get out of hand, to the point where it’s embarrassing a lot of people on the set”. Eliot’s book also chronicles Jack’s heavy drug use where he dropped acid while writing “The Trip“, used cocaine, smoked pot and experimented with LSD. It also talks about his struggles with his weight (apparently eating scores of pussy is fattening- who knew??) and finding out that the woman he thought was his older sister was actually his mother.
We already knew Jack’s sexcapades are the stuff of legends. He’s been linked to everyone from Candice Bergen to Janice Dickinson (before she started morphing into Steven Tyler) to Michelle Phillips to Lara Flynn Boyle’s old face. Meryl has been married to her husband, Don Gummer ,for 35 years and was two kids deep into her eventual four when Jack allegedly threw his Slinky down her staircase in the Winnebego. You know you’re hot shit when you don’t even have to shell out for a nice place to show a lady a good time. You can just hop into your trailer and drive that thing like you’re Lone Starr and Barf piloting the Eagle 5.
Maybe Jack and Meryl hated each other so much, their only option was to bump fuck parts. Maybe Jack was to Meryl what Isabella Rossellini was to Ross Gellar. I kind of want to throw a little shade her way, but it’s Jack Nicholson and everybody should be able to use their hall pass on him for a free fuck if the rumors about him are true, just triple bag it and use Clorox anywhere spray as lube. I can’t really blame Meryl for climbing Jack like a tree, especially not in a Winnebago. Hell, I lost it to a guy at skeevy ass place that rented rooms with hot tubs by the hour and it was so quick, the Slinkies were nowhere near overworked. I’m pretty sure there was a good 52 minutes of awkward soaking in that herpes and jizz-laced Jacuzzi water. Meryl at least got it regularly and well enough to make the film crew blush.