Morrissey Comes Out As A Humasexual

Seen above at a signing for his memoirs in Gothenburg, Sweden doing the same “Isn’t that special?” pose you did after reading the title of this post, Morrissey writes in his autobiography about how he wrapped his black heart (and other parts) around a dude named Jake Owen Walters for two years in the 90s. The excerpt from his memoirs called Autobiography about how he fell in love with a man made some people think it was his way of telling everyone that he loves dick as much as he hates the Royal familia. But on his site the other day, Morrissey let hos know that he’s not gay.

“Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course … not many”.

-MORRISSEY, Sweden, 19 October 2013.

“Humasexual” sounds like the name of someone who only gets hard for Huma Abedin. So the anti-Anthony Weiner, basically.

So what Morrissey’s trying to say is that he likes cock and clit, but he’s one of those bisexuals who is uncomfortable about being called bisexual, so he queefed up a made-up label that’s supposed to sound like a non-label. Okay, but I think the real shocking piece of news here is that Morrissey came out as an actual human being who is capable of feeling an emotion called love for another human being. Because up until now I figured he was just a humanized tragedy mask who only felt joy from cunt punting his Prince Charles doll over and over again.

Pics: Wenn.com