Kim K. Takes Fashion Advice From the Patron Saint of Leather Jogging Pants

October 21, 2013 / Posted by:

Un-bleach your brains for a hot second to get a good mental picture of Kim K.  here, here and here and allow yourself to giggle over the fact that her first post-baby interview was done for London’s Sunday Times Style (via US Weekly). She reached deep down into her kiddie pool-sized brain to say that she makes fashion decisions to please her man.

“You want your guy to think you’re really hot. I’ll put something on and he’ll [Kanye] say, ‘No, that doesn’t look good’, and I’ll trust him.'”

Sorry, but this isn’t the fourth grade, your relationship is not a sleepover and you can bet your pastry bag of an inflated ass that I wouldn’t keep doing fashion trust falls with a bitch who dropped me on my ass in a big way more than once. Sure, I want my man to think I look hot, but if I were Kim, I’d stop believing that shit after the first time a Met Gala guest mistook me for a sofa in the lobby. But that would require Kim to have two brain cells willing to come together and do some thinking and we all know that isn’t going to happen any time soon.

She also barfed out how much weight she’s lost on Atkins and how little she’s exercised (I do think she should get some credit for getting that white bathing suit on without ricocheting herself into the neighbor’s backyard) because she doesn’t want to leave her baby (except when her grown ass toddler of a man demands she be in Paris) and how even that barely-off-the-tit baby influences her fashion choices.

“I want to dress a little lighter colorwise. I think North looks cute in light colors, and then I want to wear light colors,” she reasons. “North doesn’t typically wear pink, though. She wears mauve or blush, not, like, typical baby pink.”

Listen up, bitches. That baby’s colors are BLUSH and BASHFUL. No common baby pink good enough for the likes of the unwashed masses shall be worn by NorthSouthEastLeftRightU-turn West.

Pic via

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