Hot Slut Of The Day!

Before I get into the awkward, amazing, weird, sometimes delusional and fucked up therapy session between Kanye and Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, let’s pay homage to the breakout star of the night: the crusty piece of white shit stuck to the corner of Kanye’s mouth! 

As Rich at Gawker, a million hos on Twitter and many of you pointed out, during most of Kanye’s interview, there was some chunky whiteness (and some white fluff on top of his head, but who cares about that) hanging on to the corner of his mouth and it took most of the attention away from the words coming out of his mouth. Kanye was talking about how he’s FASHUN and he’s a GENIUS and all I kept thinking was, “Okay, okay, but tell us more about that piece of tampon lint in you mouth. Tell us ITS story.”

Sometimes it looked like a toothpick, sometimes it looked like a yeast infection crumb, sometimes it looked like a refugee tonsil stone and other times it looked like he was literally foaming at the mouth. But since this is Kanye and he’s FASHUN and a GENIUS, I’m sure it was intentional and it’s a metaphor for something or some shit. It’s FASHUN! It’s HIGH ART! In a few years, we’ll all be working the white crusty side mouth look. I really can’t wait, because I’m lazy and completely washing my mouth out after visiting the glory hole is exhausting. So I’m glad the white crusty side mouth look will be SO IN soon.

And I’m sure that’s not just any glob of crusty white shit. It’s probably Givenchy, it costs $19,000 and it was made by Riccardo Tisci himself. (Yes, I see what I did there.)

(Collage of Kanye’s coagulated mouth jizz via @kingoflagos)