The Jackson Family Isn’t Going To Get $1.5 Billion From AEG

October 2, 2013 / Posted by:

This story is about the Jackson, so it’s the perfect time to post this gorgeous Sears Portrait Studio portrait of Detective La Toya, Rebbie, Katherine and Janet looking like she doesn’t want to be there and can’t wait to run her ass off to Dubai to get away from her entire family.

A jury in L.A. came back today and said that concert promoters AEG Live were not responsible for Michael Jackson’s death and his kids and his mother Katherine Jackson don’t deserve a single penny. The Jackson family threw a $1.5 billion lawsuit at AEG Live, because they believe that if AEG Live never hired Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson would still be alive today and Blanket Jackson would still be wearing a butterfly mask to go get froyo. AEG Live was producing MJ’s “This Is It” tour and attorneys for the family argued that the company only saw him as a moonwalking ATM (“Ohmygawd, I did too! Twinsies!”Joe Jackson) and hired a crooked doctor who eventually gave him a fatal dose.

The trial started in April and the jury heard all kinds of shit about MJ’s private life and how he’s the one who told his caretakers to keep giving him more drugs. The jury deliberated for three days and ultimately decided that although AEG Live hired and supervised Dr. Conrad Murray, the only person responsible for Michael Jackson’s death is Michael Jackson. Even though Dr. Con was convicted of manslaughter 2 years ago, this jury felt like he was fit and competent to perform the work that AEG hired him to do. Gregg Darden, the jury foreskin (typo and it stays), told reporters outside of the court house:

“There are really no winners in this. Somebody had to die for us to be here. … It was really a tragic situation. We felt [Conrad Murray] was competent. That doesn’t mean we felt he was ethical. If ethical was in the question, it might have been a different outcome. In the end, he was very unethical. He did something he shouldn’t have done. “

The family wanted somewhere between $1 billion to $2 billion in damages.

I didn’t really follow the case at all and it sounds like the Jacksons really didn’t have a chance, but I’m still going to give the jury’s verdict 5 out of 5 sad Bubbles.


I’m giving their verdict 5 out of 5 sad Bubbles, because  think of all the stunning diamond and gold-encrusted detective coats La Toya would’ve worn if she had a billion dollars. Damn you, jury!

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