Richard Gere And Carey Lowell Are Over

Every ho who has gotten romantic with her bathtub faucet water while sipping a chilled chardonnay and thinking of Richard Gere in (insert your fap-inducing Richard Gere movie of choice here) better put on her sexiest “I Heart Gerbils Too” t-shirt and start trolling every buddhist monastery in upstate New York, because the zen silver fox is single!

Page Six says that after 11 years of marriage, Richard Gere and Carey Lowell decided that they don’t want to be married to each other anymore, because he wants to spend his nights nam myoho renge kyo-ing in his lotus garden at home and she wants to be partying it up with Jimmy Buffett in New Haven. A source says that 64-year-old Richard and 52-year-old Carey have been apart for a long time and finally decided to make it permanent.

“They have a place in Bedford [NY], and he likes it because it’s quiet and he likes the solitude. She likes being in North Haven in the limelight. They live next door to Jimmy Buffett and his family, and they’re good friends.”

Richard and Carey recently put their North Haven waterfront estate named Strongheart Manor on the market for $65 million. I was going to make fun of the name Strongheart Manor, because you should only live in a place called Strongheart Manor if you’re a character in a Danielle Steel novel. But any manor that has the name of a lost Care Bear is my kind of manor.

Page Six also points out that last year, Richard Gere got cursed out by a man at a restaurant in the Hamptons when he flirted with the dude’s hot wife.

Richard and Carey’s reps had nothing to say about how he’s about to become her third ex-husband and she’s about to become his second ex-wife.

And if you’re in the upstate NY area, you better stay away from the roads and hide the Crisco and lighters. Millions of gerbils will be running west now that Richard Gere is lonely and single. Run, whores, run!