Lance Bass Is Getting Married To This

September 1, 2013 / Posted by:

Who ever said that the quickest and easiest way to reel in some hot ass is to get an ‘N Sync royalty check every month and regular invitations to illustrious events like Fergie’s big gay baby shower was right! My favorite ‘N Sync ho (after the midget pineapple Chris Kirkpatrick, of course) said on Instagram today that he asked his hot piece of 21 months Michael Turchin to be his husband and of course his hot piece said yes. It felt like it was only ten seconds ago when Lance Bass was fucking Reichen from The Amazing Race and now he’s getting married to this upgrade. I’m only calling him an upgrade, because he’s got a belly button that looks like an eye throwing an up-eye.

Here’s Michael showing off the black diamond ring that Lance bought him:


UsWeekly says that Lance and Michael, who’s a model and aspiring actor (aren’t they all?), got engaged in New Orleans. Lance even texted Michael’s parents to ask for his hand in marriage. Texting for permission? If Michael’s parents are anything like my mom then that text conversation must’ve been a mess. My mom barely learned how to text and auto-correct is her forever enemy. Her texts never make sense. So if some dude texted to ask for my hand in marriage, she’d reply with: Nest pudding yearn of zoos hose she not warts boo hand sea mall nine villain LOL (Translation: Yes but only if you move me in with you two and pay all my bills LOL).

And I really hope Topanga officiates Lance’s first wedding.

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