Afternoon Crumbs

August 28, 2013 / Posted by:

One half of Michelle Tanner actually showed up to the mini-Full House reunion that happened during John Stamos’ 50th birthday party last night. I don’t know, it’s kind of hard for me to believe that Ashley Olsen floated down from her mountain of money to hang out with the regulars. I’m not entirely convinced that isn’t really a drunk marmoset in a blond wig who was there for the open bar and the tight hugs from John Stamos – The Superficial

I don’t know what ovaries look like and I didn’t know I had them, but I’m pretty sure that’s what melted and slipped out of my body while I looked at these pictures of Harper Seven re-arranging David Beckham’s face – Lainey Gossip

A whole bunch of fails, except for #8 which is a whole bunch of win – The Berry

All the supermodels of the 90s took off all their panties for Interview – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

So what Tater Head Willis is saying is that Bruce Willis is a deaf asshole instead of just an asshole – Celebitchy

Somebody get this dude a job at Benihana (no, seriously, get a him a job at Benihana, because the last time I was there the chef accidentally threw onion at my face and I can’t believe I’m saying that like it’s a bad thing) – Daily Picks and Flicks

Is the sky blue? Do dogs bark? Does Pimp Mama Kris smear the butt smegma of Satan on her face every night before she goes to bed? – Reality Tea

Matt Damon won’t be the Robin to Ben Affleck’s Batman – Towleroad

I once watched a clip of a woman smoking a cigarette with her cooch and it looked exactly like Lindsay Lohan smoking a cigarette with the labia lips on her face – Hollywood Tuna

It’s a bad catch! Throw it back into the sea! – ICYDK

And a star is born on Vine – OMG Blog

That hat and those coochie cutters tell me that Hilary Duff likes tans on her legs, not her face. How very Stephanie Yellowhair of her – Popoholic

Morgan Freeman read the definition of “twerking” on CNN. And with that, we’re all done – IDLYITW

Tamra Barney’s in a bikini – HuffPo

Robin Thicke’s in a wet white t-shirt – Popsugar

RiRi might play Josephine Baker and I hope that by “might” they mean “never in a million and one centuries” – Jezebel

Katy Perry’s current look is very “rich girl who got a job at Contempo Casuals just for the discount”Just Jared

Lauren Silverman totally won that arm wrestling match, because Simon Cowell didn’t want to break a sweat and possibly mess up his beautiful hair – Moe Jackson

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