Watch Out World Cause Here Comes Pippi Longstocking’s Sex Tape

When I read the headline “Pippi Longstocking Star Sex Tape Being Shopped,” I thought they were talking about the original Pippi Longstocking and the pile of gutter sludge in my head pictured a 50-something-year-old Swede in ginger pigtails getting down with a dude while her monkey friend, Mr. Nilsson, sits on her shoulder and cheers her on. But TMZ’s talking about the American Pippi Longstocking Tami Erin. So boo hoo to you Swedish MILF porn lovers.

Tami Erin, who’s now 39 years old, played Pippi Longstocking in 1988’s New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking. After Pippi Longstocking, Erin’s career really didn’t go anywhere and everyone forgot she existed. But Tami Erin’s back and is letting all of us know that she’s all grown up by “leaking” a sex tape. TMZ says they’ve seen pieces of the tape and in it,  Pippi’s pussi (if she’s got pig tail pubes in her sex tape, I’m done) gets it on with an unidentified peen. The tape is currently being shopped around and is looking for the highest bidder. Tami foreshadowed this shit in an interview with The Daily Herald in April when she said that agents told her to do it Kim Kartrashian-style:

Is there anything Erin regrets. A mountain unclimbed? A challenge unmet? Anything?

“Yes,” she said. “I wish I had more roles where I could be really sexy and reveal that side of myself.”

Now, she may have the chance to do just that in her new quasi-autobiographical screenplay, “I Hope You Enjoy My Sex Tape.”

She got the title idea from agents, the “honey-sweetie-baby-I-know-what-you-need” type.

“I need a lead role in a studio movie that shows my emotional range!” she told them.

“No,” the agents told her, “you need a sex tape!”

“Whaaat? No!” Erin told us. “But that’s how people are getting famous these days, by making sex tapes. I don’t have a sex tape.”

Uh huh. Well, now that Pippi is on her way to being back on top (not really), she can finally get those “sexy” roles and I’m sure she’ll get a call from the producers of the public access original movie I Left My Cutlets On The Ho Stroll: The Phoebe Price Story.

And I’m not ashamed to admit that this song is on my iPhone, but now the lyrics mean totally something different to me:

And this masterpiece is also on my iPhone, and again, these lyrics also mean totally something different to me now:

It really is Scrubbing Day in more ways than one.