Open Post: Hosted By A Commercial For Bulges…. And Mascara

August 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Who ever came up with this weird ad for Benefit mascara knows that the best way to sell mascara is with plenty of Z-list bulges.

In this commercial for Benefit mascara, the Vine Girl and a bunch of other chicks all drool at the eyes and mouth over all the big dicks being paraded in front of them. Then the dudes reach into their pants and instead of pulling out a pastry dough-wrapped salchicha, they pull out mascara. BOOOOOOO! But it makes those chicks happy for some reason.

Three things:

1. This ad makes zero sense, but it’s going to give somebody ideas and I fully expect to see hair mascara for pubes at Sally’s Beauty Supply next month.

2. Simon Rex (porn name: Sebastian) looks like a strung out, seasoned hustler who sells ass for cigarettes, but I still would.

3. Who would put on mascara that had been in Vinny from Jersey Shore’s panties? Didn’t parents teach their children not to share mascara and to definitely not put on mascara that had been down the pants of a Jersey Shore whore? Using mascara that has been down Vinny’s pants is the quickest way to get gonorrhea of the eyelashes.

via Mashable (Thanks, Nino)

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