Will Arnett And Katie Lee Might Be Doing It

August 15, 2013 / Posted by:

When I woke up at the Hour of the UNGODLY this morning, I looked at my inbox and my pre-caffeinated brain thought one of the subjects read: “Is Will Arnett Dating Katie Lee?” The taste of breakfast chardonnay filled my mouth, because I thought it said KATHIE LEE! Nothing will flip your brain upside/down like thinking of Kathie Lee Gifford sitting on Will Arnett’s¬†tanned face while belting out show tunes in between guzzling from a box of white wine. If Blind Items tell the truth, then Will Arnett and Amy Poehler’s marriage stumbled out of the exit door after he fell off the wagon a few times, so it wouldn’t end well if he hooked up with the walking BevMo! store that is Kathie Lee Gifford. But we can all exhale, because he’s supposedly bumping nipples with Katie Lee, not Kathie Lee.

E! News (via People) says that Will Arnett has been “cozying” up to gold digger Hall of Famer Katie Lee. 31-year-old Katie Lee divorced Billy Joel 3 years ago and 43-year-old Will Arnett has been separated from Amy Poehler since last September. E! didn’t give any other ¬†important details about random’s favorite new couple.

I remember Katie Lee’s ass from the first season of Top Chef. She was so bland and robotic that she made the Glad family of products look like they had the personality of Richard Simmons. Going from Amy Poehler to Katie Lee is like eating a delicious extra spicy, deep fried pizza burrito every night for dinner and then switching to a dinner of Styrofoam mash and dehydrated rutabaga covered in a room-temp tap water sauce. If Will Arnett figured that what he really needs right now is to “cozy” up to someone that has the personality of a dead AA battery and vacantly glares and smiles at him, couldn’t he have gotten a broken Furby instead? Shit, did Katie Holmes turn him down?

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