The Little Monsters Are Sucking Craigslist Peen To Meet Their Mother Monster

August 15, 2013 / Posted by:

I’ve heard of fucking for tracks, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of sucking to get someone else’s track to the top.

Lady CaCa announced on Twitter the other day that a lucky Little Monster will be her guest to the iTunes Festival in London and all her crazy ass fans have to do is tweet her a screenshot of proof that they bought her new single “Applause” on iTunes. CaCa then made her Little Monsters sell their entire lives by telling them that they’ll have a bigger chance at winning her shameless contest if they buy several copies of her single. Obviously, that bitch is trying to get “Applause” to #1.

Since Lady CaCa’s Little Monsters are nuts, I’m sure some of them have sold their baby brothers and sisters in Walmart parkings lots, ended up in a tub of ice after selling some of their internal organs on the black market and have taken out a second mortgage on their parents’ house to buy as many copies of “Applause” as possible. And as points out, some Little Monsters are selling their mouths on Craigslist for an iTunes receipt. Those ads are probably fake, but I honestly wouldn’t put it past those Little Monsters. They’ll suck dick to get “Applause” to the top and they don’t even care if they get THE CLAP. Sucio sluts. But you know, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’ve sucked peen for a lot less than $1.29.

And I do love that the Little Monster who left that Craigslist ad above offered up a recession special for those who can’t afford a $1.29 blow job IN THIS ECONOMY. Here’s another “suck 4 Applause” ad:



The Little Monsters’ suck-a-thon is totally working and by “totally working” I mean not working at all. “Applause” is #3 below “Blurred Lines” and “Roar” on iTunes. But keep sucking, Little Monsters!

And here’s Lady CaCa leaving Chateau Marmont today while looking like she just sucked off all the Care Bears for iTunes receipts.


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