What In The Hell Kind Of GD Picture Is This?

August 6, 2013 / Posted by:

Fancy fashion type and Harper’s Bazaar’s Global Fashion Director Carine Roitfeld styled and picked out women for her “Singular Beauties” spread, which was supposed to pay homage to the diversity of women. But the only thing I see it paying homage to is fuckery. Case in point: Gabourey Sidibe’s picture.

I don’t know if Gabourey is saying, “STOP IN THE NAME OF FOOLERY,” or if she’s just saying “Stop!“, but they should’ve definitely listened to her, because this picture should’ve never made it out of the camera and should’ve died by the hand of the delete button. I don’t even know what’s going on in that picture. It’s like the weirdest game of charades ever. Karl Lagerfeld shot all of the pictures in Carine’s spread, so now it all makes sense. Carine and Kunty Karl probably told Gabourey to show up dressed like a volunteer theater usher. Then they put a red leather jacket (aka the only thing they had in her size) on her and when that didn’t work, Kunty Karl sighed and screamed at his minions just to throw a curtain over her and be done with it. Kunty Karl wanted to get Gabourey out of his sight, because just like food, the living and happiness, fat people are his rivals. Getting Kunty Karl to photograph a fat person is like getting Paula Deen to cater a Black Panther luncheon. It’s not going to end well and it didn’t.

And here’s a few more of Harper’s “Singular Beauties” spread (click here to see them all). It really is paying homage to fuckery, because ScarJo made the cover of Harper’s Bazaar Australia and they declared her the “modern Marilyn.” Yes, they said that and they said it during the anniversary of Marilyn’s death! Harper’s really needs to switch dealers, because the stuff they’re snorting is the wrong stuff.

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