Lindsay Lohan’s Out Of Rehab

July 31, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s a riveting video starring pictures of Lindsay Lohan leaving Cliffside in Malibu after spending a total of 90 days drying out. When the fillers in LiLo’s lips have dried up and turned to dust, she kind of looks like Bernann McKinney as a weekday pancake house hostess in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. What I’m saying is that LiLo has never looked better.

LiLo was supposed to stay in rehab for an extra 3 days, because she wanted to slowly seep back into the world, but I guess she said fuckit to that idea. TMZ says that instead of staying in rehab for a few more days, she’s going to live with a “sober coach.” This hasn’t been confirmed but I’m sure the name of her “sober coach” rhymes with Yack Maniels. Radar says that LiLo’s long-suffering lawyer Shawn Holley was in court this morning to give the judge proof that she completed her court-ordered 90 days of rehab. Judge James Dabney also ordered LiLo to 3 therapy sessions a week as per (yes, I wanted to type “ass purr” really badly) the recommendation of Cliffside’s CEO. Judge James said this during today’s hearing:

“Ms. Lohan has successfully completed residential treatment, and it’s being recommended that she continue with her psychological counseling consisting of three 50 minute psychological counseling sessions per week. This can be done in person when she is in Los Angeles, or via Skype when she isn’t.”

There will be another hearing in November to make sure LiLo’s doing what she’s supposed to do.

Skype therapy?! That should work out and I’m sure her therapist won’t think something in the milk is White Oprah when a suddenly blonder “Lindsay Lohan” Skypes in from the bar at T.G.I. Friday’s in Long Island and immediately giggles about his little tie….

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