Hot Slut Of The Day!

Most abuelitas I know keep their money close like that shit is their second heart. When they sleep, they hug their pocketbook like it’s a body pillow and when they eat, they eat with that pocketbook on their lap and they will growl at you with their eyes if you get close. You fuck with their money, you fuck with their emotions and if you fuck with their emotions, you’re going to get shanked. A thief who tried to rob Margaretta Wolf’s grocery store learned this lesson last Monday.

96-year-old Margaretta “Marge” Wolf has owned Wolf’s Grocery Store in Marshfield, Wisconsin for 54 years and she wasn’t going to let some asshole take her money and boss her around. WAOW-TV (via HuffPo) says that on Monday, an armed robber, wearing a silver mask, came into Marge’s store and told her to open up the register and give her all that money. Just like most memaws, Not The One Marge didn’t like some young fuck telling her what to do and she answered him with a “no.” Marge told the robber that she wasn’t going to open up her register, but she’d let him take all the Tootsie Rolls he could fit in his palms. He then told her to go to the back of the store and she once again shot his stupid ass down. When he threatened her by putting a pocket knife on the counter, she told him that all she has to do is hit a button for the police to show up. When the frustrated robber realized that the only two things he’d get out of Marge were zero fucks and Tootsie Rolls, he looked around, saw a security camera and busted out of there.

Not The One Marge: all the points
Robber: zero points

I’m surprised that Marge didn’t make the robber hand over his pocket knife and then make him write down his mother’s name and number so she could tell his parents about this shit. I bet those Tootsie Rolls she offered him were stale as hell. She keeps the fresh ones in her purse.