Fox News And Elisabeth Hasselbeck Will Finally Be Together In The Fall

July 9, 2013 / Posted by:

The mothership has called for Elisabeth Hasselcrack and she’s finally leaving The View to answer their call. Fox News announced today that starting in September, Elisabeth Hasselcrack’s high-pitched screech will break lights and burn off the eyebrows of crew members on the set of Fox & Friends. Hasselcrack is taking Gretchen Carlson’s spot. Gretchen is leaving to host her own show on Fox. Roger Ailes, the Chairman of Fox News, told the Post that they’re all opening their arms and embracing Hasselcrack:

“Elisabeth’s warm and engaging personality made her a star on “The View”. She has proven to be an excellent conversationalist and I am certain she will make a great addition to our already successful morning franchise.”

Warm and engaging personality? Are we watching the same Elisabeth or is Roger getting morning time drunk while watching The View? Actually a better question would be, who doesn’t get morning time drunk while watching The View?

Elisabeth said, “Blah blah blah I’m happy to have a job blah blah blah blah.Barbara Walters said, “Blah blah blah blah I’m happy to be rid of the bitch blah blah blah blah blah.”

There’s been rumors for months that Elisabeth was joining Joy Behar for the walk out The View’s exit door, but everyone including Barbara Walters denied it. They obviously dumped her ass and gave her time to find a new gig so she could say she dumped them instead.

UsWeekly says that Elisabeth’s last day on The View is tomorrow. I really hope that Rosie O’Donnell shows up for Elisabeth’s last show so they can reenact this glorious moment:

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