Robert Downey Jr. Ruins A Kid’s Life By Not Wearing His Iron Man Suit

18-month-old Jaxson Denno of Massachusetts was all excited when his mom Heather told him she was taking him to meet his hero Iron Man. But when they got to the set of Robert Downey Jr.’s movie The Judge near Jaxson’s house, the boy’s world came crashing down around him as he realized that his mom lied to him and the world lied to him. It wasn’t Iron Man in front of him. It was ONLY Robert Downey Jr.! Jaxson shouted, “You’re not Iron Man! You’re not my father! You’re an impostor! Liar! Police! Edward Snowden! Police!”

Heather tells People that Jaxson was not impressed or pleased at all when he got RDJ instead of Iron Man. After Heather explained to Jaxson that RDJ is Iron Man out of his suit, he was sort of okay with everything. Heather said, “He was fine as soon as he talked to him. [He] was so confused because I kept telling him it was Iron Man and he knew it wasn’t. Well, not Iron Man in the suit.”

RDJ should really learn from this. He should always have an Iron Man suit in the back of his rental car. If he doesn’t have an Iron Man suit in the back of his rental car, he should drive down to Party City or wherever to buy an Iron Man costume. He has a responsibility to little children everywhere. Playing Iron Man in the movies is a full-time job!

I feel both of their pain, though.

Jaxson is breaking down the same way I broke down on my first day on the job at Disneyland when I went backstage and saw a headless Minnie Mouse smoking a cigarette with Cinderella. (You haven’t been traumatized until you’ve seen Minnie Mouse without her mouse head on and you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Cinderella smoking a cig while her dress is hiked up.) And Robert Downey Jr. is making the same face I make when a child starts crying in front of me. That’s a “Huh? What do I do? Where’s the off switch?” face.