Panty Creamer Of The Day: Joe Manganiello In Men’s Health

May 30, 2013 / Posted by:

If that rock felt emotions, it would definitely feel a little inadequate next to Joe ManJell-O who is 98% rock hard muscle and 2% 90s boy band hair.

Seen above making a constipated Klingon face, Joe Manganiello is in the July issue of Men’s Health (via The Daily Mail) and I wish he talked to them about how to achieve a six-pack on your peen or biceps on your ass lips, but instead he talks about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Way to break boners and make nipples go soft, Joe ManJell-O.

Joe plays a character named Grinder (too easy) in the movie Sabotage, which also stars Arnold Schwarzenegger. Joe says that for True Blood he usually keeps himself lean and shit, but for Sabotage  he leveled himself out. Whatever that means. Then Joe went on to talk about lifting weights, and reading the whole thing exhausted me and now I need to lie down and eat a Snickers for breakfast:

“My first season on True Blood was about cutting down my mass – getting more ripped. Then it was more about leveling out the physical symmetry. When making the film with Schwarzenegger, I went through a powerlifting phase – I put on 9kg, so my bodyweight was up to 113kg. Now, I want to be a great athlete. It’s about becoming stronger, fitter and faster.’

I’m not 18 anymore. But you won’t hear me saying that, because me at 36 would destroy me as a teenager. In my mid-thirties I’m making bigger gains than I’ve ever made in my life.”

I know, I know, I too sat there and was like, “Um, okay, but how much does your peen weigh?” Gutter minds think alike. Then Joe went and talked about how Arnold gave him posing tips and he’s flattered that people are calling him the next Schwarzenegger (insert KellanLutzIsMad.gif here).

“Arnie was a hero to me. He’s the reason why every guy of our generation started going to the gym. To film with him for four months was awesome. And he still trains every morning. We had a photoshoot for the movie poster. I was wearing a sleeveless top, crossing my arms and flexing. Arnold came in and said, ‘I see you’re flexing your biceps. Don’t do that. Keep it loose and with crossed arms put the other hand back to push the muscle forward – you’ll get an extra three inches.”‘

Arnold laughed and said that the last tip also works for making your dick look three inches bigger too. If Joe is going to be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, that means he’s eventually going to become Governor of California and he’ll eventually screw the maid on his office desk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go fill out an application at Molly Maid. I like to plan ahead.

Here’s a couple more pictures of Joe and his millions of muscles in Men’s Health. I kind of want to see him oil wrestle with Hugh Jackman’s bulging arm vein.

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