And I Bet Ke$ha’s Going To Bail Her Out

If I listed all the illegal and dumb stuff that Teen Mom Jenelle has done in the past couple of years, this post would be 8,000 words long and by the end of it, we’d all want to become pro-sterilization activists. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Jenelle Evans of Teen Mom 2 was back in front of the mug shot camera today in North Carolina after police busted her for possession of her drug of choice, heroin, and for beating her husband, Courtland Rogers, with a piece of furniture. Courtland was also arrested for punching Jenelle in the head and for being in possession of heroin. TMZ says that when the police showed up to Jenelle’s house after getting a call about a domestic disturbance, they found 12 bags of heroin, a glass pipe, plastic wrapping papers and illegal Percocet.

Since Jenelle and Courtland both denied that the heroin was theirs, they were both charged with possession with intent to sell. While the cops were there, they served Jenelle with a warrant for not paying child support. Jenelle’s mom currently has custody of her kid.

One of Jenelle’s friends tells Radar that she was set up by her husband and all of the heroin belonged to him. This friend might be speaking the truth, because Jenelle tweeted this 8 hours ago and she’d never tell a lie!

I’m doing great. Eating healthy. My weight is back to normal. I take Multivitamins daily and melatonin at night and I’m SOBER!

Bitch has a funny way of spelling “heroin” and “Percocet.”

Well, the way that I see is if Jenelle ever stops being a bona fide wreck and gets sober, she can say that the whole “Ke$hit is the air I breathe” speech that she shat out of her mouth was the result of her being all the way high on heroin. We’d all just nod our heads, because that would make so much sense.