President Obama Can’t Be Bothered With Beyonce And Jay-Z’s Stupid Trip To Cuba

April 17, 2013 / Posted by:

Beyonce and Jay-Z want us all to think that President Obama makes them friendship bracelets in their spare time and when he’s feeling lonely, he clutches half of the Friends Forever necklace they gave him and thinks of them. Jay-Z bragged in his song “Open Letter” about getting White House clearance to go to Cuba, but Obama said otherwise and put those name-dropping hos in their place.

Because she’s a serious journalist, Today’s Savannah Guthrie asked Obama the question that’s on everyone’s mind: What does he think about Jay-Z’s song and is it true he gave them permission to go to Cuba? (Ann Curry would NEVER. Actually, Ann Curry probably would.) Obama told Savannah that Bey-Z’s trip to Cuba is bronchitis to his Sweet Brown. He ain’t got time for that.

“I wasn’t familiar that they were taking the trip. My understanding is I think they went through a group that organizes these educational trips down to Cuba….. You know, this is not something the White House was involved with. We’ve got better things to do.”

He told them. How I wish that right after he said that last line, he popped open a fan and fanned himself Kenya Moore-style.

In possibly related news, a letter sent to Obama tested positive for the poison ricin. They better check to see if that letter was postmarked from the basement, because I don’t even want to know what Basement Baby had to do to earn a day pass to go to Coachella this past weekend.

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