Lady CaCa Is The Queen Of The Universe And All Her Assistants Are Her Slaves

February 1, 2013 / Posted by:

Lady CaCa’s former assistant Jennifer O’Neill threw a lawsuit at her two years ago for overworking her like a Chinese child in a sweat shop and not paying her one single cent of overtime. Jennifer was CaCa’s personal slave for 2 years from 2009 to 2011 and did everything for her from wiping the tuck sweat from her taint to wiping Terry Richardson’s butt juices from her lips. Jennifer claims she worked day and night and says CaCa owes her almost $400,000 for 7,168 hours of overtime. CaCa refused to pay, Jennifer sued her and here we are now.

The New York Post says for 6 hours in a Manhattan office, CaCa blew out curse word after curse word and called Jennifer all kinds of names during her testimony. The Post got a hold of the transcripts from the testimony that were submitted to the court and lord, CaCa’s not-so-inner cunt came out to play that day. While her head was firmly shoved up her ass, the cunt monster let everyone have it:

CaCa on how Jennifer is a shifty piece of trash who needs to bow down to the real queen of the universe: “[Jennifer O’Neill is a] fucking hood rat who is suing me for money that she didn’t earn. She’s just — she thinks she’s just like the queen of the universe. And, you know what, she didn’t want to be a slave to one, because in my work and what I do, I’m the queen of the universe every day.”

CaCa on Jennifer throwing her stank faces during her testimony: “Are you going to stare at me like a witch this whole time — honestly? Because this is going to be a long fucking day that you brought me here.”

CaCa on how none of her slaves got overtime and Jennifer knew this going in: “[Jennifer] knew exactly what she was getting into, and she knew there was no overtime, and I never paid her overtime the first time I hired her, so why would she be paid overtime the second time? This whole case is bullshit, and you know it.”

CaCa on how Jennifer shouldn’t complain about overtime, because she got to sleep on fancy sheets in fancy hotels and party with a turtle-faced creep: “I’m quite wonderful to everybody that works for me, and I am completely aghast to what a disgusting human being that you have become to sue me like this. Because she slept in Egyptian cotton sheets every night, in five-star hotels, on private planes, eating caviar, partying with [photographer] Terry Richardson all night, wearing my clothes, asking YSL [Yves Saint Laurent] to send her free shoes without my permission, using my YSL discount without my permission.”

CaCa on how she has such a good heart, because she gave Jennifer a $75,000 a year job that she wasn’t qualified for: “[The job] was essentially a favor, and Jennifer was majorly unqualified for it. I expect there to be a certain level of, like, you know, knowledge and academia about, like, your job. [A good assistant] is somebody that can anticipate what you need before you need it, so they buy it for you, or they — they set it up for you.”

CaCa on why Jennifer sucked as an assistant: “One of the biggest problems I had with Jen is that I felt like she didn’t enough lay out all my stuff for me [while traveling]. There is 20 bags and there is only one me, and I can’t sift through everything. She would only open a couple of bags, and it was very stressful for me because then again on my off days I couldn’t really have a day off because, you know, I weigh 115 pounds, and I was trying to move these huge, big luggages all by myself in the room, and I did it all the time — by the way, she was asleep until 12:00 most of the time, so I was very often waking up and moving my own luggage and doing shit by myself, and it was — it was a problem that I had.”

CaCa on how Jennifer should be thankful that she got to live a solid gold-covered diamond life for 2 years: “It is, like, such an amazing luxury that I get to travel the world and have planes, she doesn’t even see what a luxury it is, but she thinks it’s owed to her for no reason. [I took my employees to a] beautiful $3,000 meal that I paid for [at Spiaggia in Chicago]. They were on their day off, and they all just wanted to be with me.”

CaCa on how all her employees work only 8 hour days, but it’s not 8 hours in a row: “You don’t get a schedule that is like you punch in and you can play fucking Tetris at your desk for four hours and then you punch out at the end of the day. This is — when I need you, you’re available. An eight-hour workday could still be a very difficult workday, you know, if you’re digging ditches or, you know, you’re, you know, putting sealing on a roof, you know. I’m not in any way discounting how hard an eight-hour work day can be, or discounting the role of an assistant. I do six shows a week, and I make a lot of money. I work, I work 24 hours a day. I’m not standing next to Steve holding tea, waiting for him to take a sip, that is not what I do.”

CaCa on how she’s going to give the $400,000 to her current employees instead of giving it to Jennifer: “I’m going to give all the money that she wants to my employees that work hard for me now that deserve it. I’m not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top.”

CaCa on how she was disgusted with Jennifer after Jennifer slept in one of the two beds on her private jet and refused to share pillows (HA!): “Most of my assistants in the past always offered it to my mother or my family. Jennifer was the first person that never offered it to anybody and always took it for herself. And she said, ‘No, I need my three pillows so I can sleep.’ I heard it. I immediately was so sick by it and upset that I turned over and went back to sleep.”

CaCa on how after partying with Terry Richardson and fancy French socialites in Paris all night, they got back on the jet and Jennifer took one of the beds again: “[Jennifer] completely, like, flipped out at me, beyond belief when I told her no. I said, ‘Jennifer, this is really inappropriate in front of Terry Richardson,’ and she was like, ‘Don’t I get some sort of seniority because I’ve been here longer and I’m your friend?’ And I remember those words as clear as day, because when your best friend looks you in the eye and says ‘Why can’t I have that seat on your private plane, I’m your friend,’ the first thing I thought was ‘You’re not my fucking friend.’ You are not my fucking friend.”

All of this is gold, but the part that really made me cackle out of my panties is when CaCa said, “This is really inappropriate in front of Terry Richardson.” If Terry Richardson was in a room full of Larry Kings (and we all know that Larry King is the MOST inappropriate person in the world), he’d still be the most inappropriate piece of trash in that room. Terry Richardson has busted a nut on a barely legal model’s reluctant face in front of his entire crew and CaCa is telling somebody to act appropriate around him? I bet that when CaCa said that, Terry was in the back of the plane, jacking off into one of Jennifer’s socks.

And damn, EGO really is a helluva drug.

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