The Quarterback Virgin And The Professional Beard Just Couldn’t Make It Work

December 20, 2012 / Posted by:

The “open” sign is back on the front door of Camilla Belle’s Bearding Services, because she has stopped dating the virgin quarterback who regularly Facetimes with Jesus on his iPhone. Who knew that a devout Christian with his cherry firmly intact couldn’t make it work with a ho who Taylor Swift says is a master at mattress acrobats (read: the squinty bitch called her a slut).

Tim Tebow and Camilla Belle started dating a couple of months ago and they were seen holding hands and doing kissing stuff at a bowling alley in Florida. They must’ve had one of those short-term contracts, because a source tells UsWeekly that it’s over. I guess Camilla just didn’t have a servant’s heart, which is what Tim Tebow wants in a wife. He said this to Vogue a while ago:

“I’ve been blessed to have an amazing mom and two amazing sisters — so they set a very high standard. Obviously looks play a big part. Being attracted to someone plays a big part, but there’s also so much more than that for me. It’s about finding someone sweet and kind — and that has a servant’s heart.”

I’m actually surprised over this highly important news. Tim Tebow isn’t going to let his peen kiss on a vagina until he’s married and Camilla Belle was with a Jonas brother during his purity cock ring days, so she knows how it goes. Bitch probably quit Tim Tebow, because she got sick of doing butt sex all the time (side note: anybody who gets sick of butt sex is no friend of mine). Virgins LOVE butt sex.

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >