Open Post: Hosted By Bed Bath & Beyond’s Twilight Engagement Ring

December 4, 2012 / Posted by:

When you think of fine jooree, you immediately think of Bed Bath & Beyond. So Bed Bath & Beyond is the perfect place to sell The Twilight Saga Fine Jewelry Collection. For just $3,300, you can own a diamond ring that’ll look extra beautiful when a single sad tear falls on it every time you realize that you spent thousands of dollars on a Twilight diamond ring from Bed Bath & Beyond Help.

The Twatlight diamond ring is the perfect ring for a Twihard who can’t get a man and isn’t ashamed of it. It’s a ring that clearly says: “I don’t give a shit about not having a man and I’m showing you that I don’t give a shit by wearing a Twilight engagement ring I bought for myself at a place that sells bath towels and popsicle makers.” Forever alone has never looked so sparkly. Jennifer Love Hewitt will take one for every day of the week.

I can’t wait to see the commercial for this. Just imagine a woman lying in a sugar coma with Reese’s Pieces’ wrappers covering most of her body. Just as she opens her eyes, her cat, Edward Purren, jumps on a pillow next to her and touches her face with his paw before running off to the front door. The woman follows him, thinking that maybe he put another dead bird on her welcome mat. The woman is really excited, because she only needs one more dead bird to complete the “dead bird gift garland” that she plans to hang over her bed. She steps out the front door and lying on the welcome mat is a dead bird and lying on the dead bird is a Twilight engagement ring from Bed Bath & Beyond! She didn’t think this day would ever come! Oh, Edward Purren! Cut to Edward Purren making a face that says: “Why are you acting so surprised? You’re the one who staged all of this.” 

And if Bed Bath & Beyond wanted to honor the Twilight love story in a real way, they would’ve put out a line of exclusive Twilight toilet accessories.

(Thanks, Melissa) 

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