Bobbi Kristina Is Going To Marry Her “Adopted Brother” Nick Gordon

After letting out a stream of denials from the gap in her teefs, Bobbi Kristina has finally said that the rumors are true, she’s engaged to the dude who was like a son to her mother. Bobbi Kristina makes the announcement on her family’s new Lifetime reality show The Houstons: On Our Own and Nick Gordon tweeted a picture of the ring. If you look up in the sky right now, you will see that the clouds are spelling out the line “HELL TO THE NOOOOOO.” That’s Whitney responding to this mess from heaven. Rolling in the deep is what Whitney will be doing in her grave today.

Whitney pretty much raised Nick since he was a teenager and Bobbi Kristina considered him a brother, so some members of the family, including Whit’s brother Gary, thinks their current relationship is some strange Games of Thrones shit. In the clip (which you can watch here if that’s what you need today) for the Houstons reality show, Gary says that nobody in the family ever guessed that Nick Gordon would go from being a godson to making Bobbi Kristina squeal for god while they humped.

What makes this even more messy is that Cissy Houston is trying to keep Bobbi Kristina from her $20 million inheritance, because she’s afraid all that money will bring out the gold diggers (see: Nick Gordon) and drugs dealers who will try lure BK back to the bad shit side.

Most hos can’t wait to get away from their brother, but if Bobbi Kristina wants to do hers for the rest of eternity, then good for her. But that’s not the most disturbing part of this to me. The most disturbing part is that Bobbi Kristina obviously isn’t good at making decisions. I mean, how can she want to marry a dude with brows like that. Those brows should be in a garden, nibbling on rotten apples that fell from a tree. They shouldn’t be on a human face! Those brows look like pieces of burnt flour tortilla. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover…unless that cover has some jacked up brows on it.