Michelle Rodriguez On Why Nicole Kidman Won’t Win An Oscar For Pissing On Zac Efron

When I first read that in Lee Daniels’ newest cinematic mess The Paperboy, Nicole Kidman squats a piss out on Zac Efron’s chest after he gets stung by a jellyfish, I said that the Academy needs to engrave “Nicole Kidman’s Piss Stream” on a statue right now. Because that golden shower deserves the gold! Well, crazy ass Michelle Rodriguez saw The Paperboy at Cannes and she disagrees with my ass. MRod told Vulture that Nicole isn’t going to win an Oscar for taking a #1 on Zac’s lip gloss-covered nipples, because she’s not black.

“I fucking loved it. One of my friends said, ‘She’s going to get nominated for an Oscar for that.’ I was like, ‘Nah, man. She’s not black!’ I laugh, but it’s also very sad. It makes me want to cry. But I really believe. You have to be trashy and black to get nominated. You can’t just be trashy.”

The hell? Nicole Kidman won an Oscar and it wasn’t for playing a character that wasn’t black or trashy. Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer were both nominated this year and their characters weren’t trashy. I think MRod is saying that in Lee Daniels’ Precious, Mo’Nique played trash and won an Oscar for it. So if you want to be nominated for an Oscar for acting in a Lee Daniels movie, you better hope your character is black and trashy. I don’t know! Reading a quote from Michelle Rodriguez is like trying to have a conversation with a heat-stricken surfer on peyote while you’re high on meth. I’m not on the right kind of drug to fully understand what that crazy bitch is saying.

And now I have the image of Mo’Nique pissing on Zac Efron. Oh, MRod, the things you do to my brain.