No Shade: Madge At Macy’s

April 13, 2012 / Posted by:

Madge’s newest album bungee jumped down the charts this week, but she still put on her dontgiveafuckface (No, seriously, she went into her face closet and put on the face labeled “Don’t Give A Fuck.”) to work the carpet at Macy’s in NYC. Madge was at Macy’s in Herald Square to whore out her fragrance Truth or Dare (smells like a mixture of decaying hydrangeas, Lady CaCa’s tuck sweat, the fear of a South American boy toy, Elton John’s burnt toupee and seasoned pussy dust).

I know I’ve said before that Madge’s current face looks like it was put together using newborn baby butt cheeks, piano wire and Fix-A-Flat, but I have to say that last night she looked vampire fresh. We can disagree on that, but we cannot and will not disagree over the fact that Madge has some seriously hung veins on her feet. Madge’s feet are ribbed for Quentin Tarantino’s pleasure. You’d probably get a quick tingle if you rubbed your b-hole against one of them. Baby Brahim is one lucky vein fucker.

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