ASkars And Charlize Theron Found Love In A Gay Bar

The literary beacon of truth that is The National Enquirer (via Celebitchy) has put ASkars, Charlize Theron and a gay bar in the same story, and have given me the beautiful image of those two blond giants eye fucking each other as a go-go boy’s ass cheeks wiggle in the background. ASkars has backed away from an Olsen and fallen right into the golden crotch on Charlize Theron. Some source says that Charlize and ASkars strolled into GYM Sportsbar in West Hollywood, ordered two beers and then found love in a homo place. The source said this about Charlize and ASkars’ time together:

“They ordered two beers and went to sit on the patio. I realized it was Charlize and her date was Alexander Skarsgard. It was clear they were a couple, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.

People said hello, and they were really nice. After about 45 minutes, they left with their arms around each other and drove off in the same care.

Another source said that Charlize is busting nuts on the inside over ASkars and they went to a gay bar, because they didn’t think anyone would recognize them there. Um, is GYM one of those “in the dark” bars or is 99.99% of its clientele completely blind, because what self-respecting gay dude would not recognize ASkars? I could be blindfolded in the basement of GYM and I’d know ASkars walked through the front door, because my asshole would start blowing out the melody to a Swedish Viking song.

Anyway, can you imagine watching these two fuck? It would be all legs and all blond hair. If you want to know what it looks like, pull off the legs from a Ken Doll, pull off the legs from a Barbie, grab a blond weave track, dip all of them into lube, throw them into the dryer and press “air dry” before fapping away.