Tom Hanks’ Son Tweets A Gift For All You Ladies Out There

March 5, 2012 / Posted by:

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson’s son Chester Hanks (it’s “Chet Haze” if you cut your Alize with Summer’s Eve) has already murdered the white boy rap game by spittin’ rhymes that sounds like an Enimen queef and now he’s killing heterosexual relationships everywhere by Tweeting pictures of his humble nipples. Chet posted this picture of his nipples and a background blonde (who is probably happy that Chet is too busy humping the camera to hump her) and continued to fart out a shrine to himself by posting another one:

If you’re a dick-loving woman with a boyfriend, then I’m sure you just changed your Facebook status from “in a relationship” to “HAZED!!!!!!” Chet knows the kind of effect he has on chochas and apologized to all boyfriends everywhere for luring their girlfriends to the HAZE side.

Chet then made thousands of gays fart out the broken pieces of their hearts after he let it be known that he’s NO HOMO:

I swear, my eyeballs smell like a clean pussy now, because doucheness is dripping off of each of those Tweets.

In case you couldn’t tell from Chet’s tattoo that looks like the mascot of a bank run by The Fellowship of the Sun, Chet Haze is dumber than a box of chocolates. I mean, I’m so fucking stupid that the other night I tried to get into my apartment for a good 30 seconds before realizing I was on the wrong floor, but whenever I want to feel smarter I just go to Chet’s Twitter page. It’s as if Tom Hanks made Chet Haze while in character as Forrest Gump. Yes, Tom Hanks is so good at acting that he even cums in character.

Oh, this piece of Chet. So pretty, yet so douchey.

via Buzzfeed

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: [email protected]

alt="drupal analytics" >