Billy Bob Thornton Is Making A Movie About His Marriage To Angie Jo

February 14, 2012 / Posted by:

Just when I was starting to forget that once upon a gross Billy Bob Thornton and Angie Jolie poured grenadine syrup into a vial necklace to make all of us think that they are so crazy that they fucked the blood out of each other, he has to barf it up all over again. Billy Bob is at the Berlin International Film Festival promoting his new movie Jayne Mansfield’s Car (???) and he talked about the screenplay he’s working on with his writing partner right now. And Then We Drove is some movie about a dude who goes on a road trip, picks up a hitchhiking ho along the way, falls in love with her and then makes millions of people eye vomit their retinas off by groping on each other at movie premieres.

The producer of And Then We Drove, Alexander Rodnyansky, tells Variety that the movie was sort of inspired by Billy Bob’s marriage to St. Angie. They’ll start shooting all around the West Coast as soon as the script is done.

I’m all for Billy Bob doing a Kalifornia meets Fear & Loathing movie starring Jennifer Aniston as Angelina (please do this, Billy Bob), but it’s obvious that his next movie should be a feature film version of Lazy Town and he should play the villain. Billy Bob’s second face was born at the Botox needle just to play that role.

What did you do, Billy Bob? To your face! From the the hairy tooth under his lip to his frozen forehead to the beaver carcass on his head… I can’t. Billy Bob looks like a Botoxed otter who tried to escape the zoo by dressing in disguise as John Travolta. I swear, the Glade candle on my coffee table can make more facial expressions than Billy Bob can.

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