By now you’ve probably already heard and made a remix of Demi Moore’s 911 call, and so I’m sure you’ve heard the part where the caller says that she had a seizure after smoking some nasty incense-like shit that wasn’t marijuana. But in the call, the caller also asks someone named “Ru” what the name at the gate is so they can buzz in the paramedics. Yeah, I know your thought bubble is filled with the image of RuPaul pulling Demi away from the claw of the Grim Reaper by stabbing her in the heart with a syringe full of life juice (aka adrenaline) Pulp Fiction-style. But the Ru they’re talking about is Demi’s daughter Rumer aka Tater Head.
So basically, Demi was probably doing whip-it hits and smoking some fraudulent weed with her daughter. In a T.G.I. Friday’s bathroom somewhere on Long Island, White Oprah just lifted her head up from off the toilet and reminisced about the first time her precious angel dialed 911 after she ODed on NyQuil, dog sedatives and nail polish remover. White Oprah made a mental note to invite Demi and Rumer over for a mother/daughter play date.
And as for that wannabe good shit Demi was smoking on, we all figured it was Miley’s choice of fake herb Salvia, but Radar thinks it’s something called K2 Spice. Just like Salvia, K2 is fake weed and some expert type says that it’s known to cause body freak outs, “These synthetic cannabinoids have been associated with impaired driving incidents, attempted suicides, and emergency department visits, and have been linked to such adverse effects as increased anxiety, panic attacks, heart palpitations, respiratory complications, aggression, mood swings, altered perception, and paranoia.”
Of course Demi’s body busted into a seizure after smoking that gross shit. Our bodies are our temples and wouldn’t you lose it, throw shit and cause a scene if somebody brought fake weed to your temple? Nothing gets you an F in life choice making like smoking fake weed and inhaling whip-its with your daughter, because you’re sad that you’re no longer fucking on Kelso.
And yes, I know that picture looks like a still from a deleted scene in Toy Story where Mr. Potato Head and Madame get fucked up on coke cut with silica gel. Jaws be grinding.