Bitch Got Booed: The Kris Humphries Edition

When Kris Humphries used the blood from a virgin goat to sign away his soul to the Kardashian Klan, he probably agreed to give a chunk of his future earnings to them and to also hand over his first non-Kardashian born, which will be sacrificed to the ultimate devil, Ryan Gaycrest, in exchange for 50 more seasons on E!. So Kris already had the sads knowing that a chunk of the $8 million he got from the New Jersey Nets for re-signing with them would be snatched up by Pimp Mama Kris’ klaws. And Kris got kicked again when he didn’t exactly receive a warm welcome at his first game. The Herp Derp Giant stumbled onto the court at Madison Square Garden last night and got showered with boos and laughs from Knicks fans. The audience reaction was basically the same one I got when I danced in a button down silk shirt to a Rhythm Syndicate song during my junior high school talent show.

Kris told reporters after game that he was so focused on the game that he says he didn’t even notice the boos. Kris then said, “What is a boo, anyway? What does it sound like? Can you spell that out for me…slowly…slower… I like basketball.”

This is why it’s good to be as simple as Kris Humphries. Bitch can only operate two senses. So you can punch his ears with boos all you want, but the only thought in his head will be: basketball in hoop… basketball in hoop… basketball in hoop… cookies… basketball in hoop.

That being said, a “guilt by Kardashiation” boo is a beautiful boo.